Discipline > Motivation
I don’t know about you, but in my life, one of the most inconsistent feelings is motivation. I can be incredibly motivated and laser-focused on a goal one day; by the next morning, it’s gone. It can be so frustrating, and honestly, at times, I feel duped by my motivation! As if I would go out and buy so much workout gear one day only to watch it gather dust from here on out!
The truth is, we can’t rely on motivation. If we are in a place where we want to do something new, consistency is so essential to habit-building, and relying on motivation does not translate to long-term success. Consistency comes from having discipline; however, something is missing in the way that discipline is often discussed. When I think of the advice I’ve heard and read on being more disciplined, it’s always so harsh. “Push through,” “no pain, no gain,” and “You’ll thank yourself later” - these oft-used phrases do not help me when I’m at capacity and can’t find the willpower to do the thing.
What does help me is a more authentic version of discipline: Linking my actions to my beliefs and values. For instance, it’s really important to me to be active in my later years. Most people say that; almost everyone would say, “Oh yes, me too” if I said that to them. That thought is not enough motivation and isn’t concrete enough to get me out of bed early to get a walk done. What does kick in for me is that a core value of mine is to be the type of parent who is active and physically able to care for my kids and, someday, my grandchildren for as long as I can. I feel strongly about that, I’ve examined my values and beliefs, and this is a high priority for me. Creating my action out of that belief is far easier than relying on inconsistent motivation or willpower based on a far-off idea of what my older years ought to look like.
Linking action to belief sounds simplistic; however, you would be surprised to learn how many clients come to me for help and have yet to explore their core beliefs and values. Everyone has a general sense of what is important to them, but it is compelling and provides a lot of clarity to spend time exploring and defining your personal values. Building habits to support your goals starts with defining your values and beliefs. Authentic discipline comes from the integrity of living in a value-driven space, and this is where our work always begins - discovering what that space looks like for you.
